Me and My Shadow

I ran 7 miles yesterday with Billy.  It was the perfect day for it.  The day was just beautiful!  We ran from Lifesprings to the Wellness Park, around the small loop a couple times, and then back.  On our way to the Wellness Park, the sun was at our back, so our shadow was in front of us.  For about 3 miles, I had to watch my shadow as I ran!  Surprisingly, and not in a vain way at all, I wanted to tell you that I did not hate it!  Coming from someone who has spent most of their life feeling inferior and insignificant, mostly because of my weight, this is a HUGE statement! 

That's what running has done for me.  Sure, I have lost weight and toned up, but running has done much more than that for me.  Running, through helping me grow closer to God, has helped me to accept who I am, what I look like, and be happy with that.  I have never met any woman, regardless of their weight, shape, or size that could not tell you at least one thing they were unhappy with about their body.  Every woman has something they would change about their appearance if they could....
 Psalm 45 is one of my favorites to tell young girls.  It is written as a wedding song.  I thought this morning as I watched Bennett in church, that one day all too soon, my baby will be gone.  Right now, as she grows and learns, she is my shadow (although she does not always do what I tell her to)....and the way I feel about myself and all the things I do, are teaching her something about how she will feel about herself.  We all want our children to grow up and be confident adults.  This is becoming more and more difficult, especially with girls.  Society, the media and the clothing industry are giving them the wrong impression of what makes them beautiful!  What makes a girl beautiful is how they feel about themselves and how they view God as their Creator! 

Psalm 45:10-12, 14-15
"Listen to me, O royal daughter; take to heart what I say.  Forget your people and your family far away.  For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.  The bride, a princess, looks glorious in her golden gown.  In her beautiful robes, she is led to the king, accompanied by her bridesmaids.  What a joyful and enthusiastic procession as they enter the king's palace."

One day, my Bennett will be grown up and we will be planning her wedding, every little girl's fantasty.  I tell these young girls at church this all the time and just recently had the privilege of watching this realization change one young woman's life....before any of us can be happy with any man, we must first know the One who created us.  We must first be in love with the King of Kings and He must be THE priority of our life.  It is only then that we can fully love another and it is only then that we will see ourselves through His eyes, as the woman He created us to be and be happy with that! 

Right now, as Bennett is my little shadow, I pray that I can teach her that.  I pray that my life and my adoration of God will be a lesson to her.  I pray also that she will watch, as I daily learn to love myself as the woman God created me to be, and watch as I in turn pour that love out on all those around me, including her Daddy.  God has blessed me with a man that I could spend hours and hours telling you about.  He has loved me through all kinds of things.  But, I admit that I have not always been confident enough to fully love him back.  It has always been difficult for me to believe that anyone, especially such a wonderful someone as my husband would really be able to love me.  God has been gracious to me and so has my husband, thankfully!

During children's time this morning at church, Bennett was sitting in front of the church.  She was wearing a dress and I was scared that she might not sit with her legs closed and that her dress would ride up.  Just then, as I sat there wishing I could remind her to sit like a lady, she pulled her dress over her knees and put her knees together.  Even if for just that one moment, I felt like maybe she has listened to at least some of what I say.  Mostly I realized that she "listens" more to what I do than what I say!  If I respect my body and respect myself, so will she.  So, dear Lord, I pray that my life and the things I do will teach Bennett to love God with all her heart, mind, and soul!  I pray that she will love herself and will grow into a confident young woman full of the promises God has for her life!  I pray that she will chase after the one thing that matters, and that is a relationship with You, my Lord!!!  I thank you for grace and mercy you show us mothers each and every day.  I thank you for giving me forgiving kids, that love me even though I screw up often!  Help me, Lord to get the things that count most right! I love you!  In Jesus' name, Amen!

1 Peter 3:3-5
"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.  You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.  This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful.  They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands."

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Manning Up on Manley Street

Yesterday's run was in Carnesville, GA.  I do not usually run there, but from my observation, there are not too many stroller safe places to run.  I usually run the parking lot of the Rocky Ford Rec Center, but for this run, I decided to be adventurous.  I left Carnesville Elementary and headed up Rocky Ford Road (the hills almost kill me every time), then took a left onto Roebuck Road.  The plan was to turn back at the end of Roebuck and do it all over a few more times, but I just kept going, despite what my mama would say about me pushing the double stroller on the highway.  The short period of time that I was on Highway 145, making my way to Stone Bridge Road, I was hoping that noone I knew would see me and tell my mama.  I ran that part really fast.  I could just hear my mama yelling at me....and anyone who knows MawMaw can just hear it now....

 

After last summer's near death experience with the angriest dog in Franklin County, I usually carry pepper spray, and a BIG stick!  About a mile into the run, I realized I forgot my pepper spray.  I made the choice to keep going.  I turned onto Stone Bridge Road, eyes and ears open for ferocious dogs.  At the beginning of Old Busha Road, I heard a large dog barking in the distance, but thankfully it was chained up.  With each house that I approached, I tried to determine the likelihood of whether or not that house looked like a "killer dog house" or not...  I am not even sure what qualifies a house as a "killer dog house" but still this replayed in my mind with each house I came to. 

 

As I approached Manley Street (which I had to consult a map to find the name of because I never knew), I wondered if my sister remembered the time when I ran over a cat on that road when I was high school.  I was going faster than I should have been, with my sister in the car (don't tell my mama, please).  I ran over the cat, then when I looked back in the rear view mirror, the cat was laying there in the middle of the road, staring at me.  Only it was most definitely dead.  It was somewhat traumatizing.  I remember feeling very sad about my lack of responsiblity and about making my sister sad.  I can't remember if my little brother was in the car or not....

 

So, as I turned left onto Manley Street, a dog immediately ran out and started barking.  Once you have faced a near death experience by a dog, the sound of barking strikes a spine tingling, stop dead in your tracks kind of fear in you.  I stopped, grabbed my stick and began to assess whether or not this dog posed a real threat or not.  This whole run, I had been working out my dog attack plan of action in my mind.  Obviously, my first priority would be to protect the kids, so I figured I would push them off the road into some bushes (I thought the bushes would protect them).  With the stoller to my back, I would heroicly fight off the vicious dog (s) by whatever means were necessary. 

 

So, here I was, faced with a decision.  I actually started backing up with the intent to just turn around and head back.  Honestly, the thought of pushing the stroller back up all those hills helped me make my decision to continue.  I decided to "man" up on "Man"ley Street (I get my sense of humor from my Daddy).  And, the dog was not really that vicious and it actually never even came near me.  I continued on, and just past that house, was the most beautifully quiet stretch of road with towering trees on either side, gorgeous pasture land with unsuspecting cows lazing and grazing.  It was so nice that I had to stop for reflection and to take a picture. 

 

  This was the kind of scene that makes you glad to live out here, in the country.  This was the kind of scene that shows you the goodness of the God who created it.  This was the kind of scene that reminds me of why I love to run, for the love of the road, for how it makes me feel strong, for how it gives me one on one (plus 2 kids) time with God, for how it clears my head and shows me what is truly important in life, for how it shows me that we live not for the here and now, but for life in eternity with the One who created all things. 

 

I ran slowly through this stretch of landscape, revelling in my quiet thoughts of peace and hope and joy, and of promises answered.  Upon further reflection, I saw how the fear that almost overtook me and made me turn back, would have caused me to miss this!  I saw that just on the other side of a dog that at first seemed more vicious than he really was the blessing of God's reminder that He is always near me.  I know we should always use common sense when it comes to danger (I can hear my mama saying "God gave you common sense to use, Chan") , but in this particular instance, my blessing was waiting on the other side of my fear!  Never mind that immediately, and I mean IMMEDIATELY after this stretch of road, Merritt decided to poke holes in the weather cover of the stoller and basically ruin it.....  But, you know what, that did not take away from the beauty of a moment spent with God that I very easily could have missed! 

 

This has prompted me to go back and read Joshua, to remind myself of how my fear and my discouragement can keep me from the greatest blessings and promises God has to offer! 

 

My advice to you comes to you courtesy of  Joshua 1:9 "This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."